Kombdi tales

 I always thought dogs were the only pets. Dogs are furry and cute, come when called (ok mine comes only there is a treat in my hand), cuddle up with you (if you can ignore the bad breath).....and I own 2 of them. ....I was living my childhood dream of a beautiful house with 2 dogs at the hearth.My pet world was complete.Till I saw backyard hens at Amol's cousins place......Now I wouldnot rest till I owned a few.
Amol as usual came up with all the reasons not to have them....very reasonable ones too...but I badgered on unreasonably... and Voila
9 months later(gestation period from idea to a real coup full of chicks) I had 5 pet Chicks-1 boy  and 3+1 girls.The plus 1 was a Fancy breed of chick...shiny black plumage with a crown ...small and cute She was the avian equivalent of my cocker spaniel, Boomer. Others were of the Vanraj breed ,run of the mill ,birds next door, plain looks. Bird contemperory of my Pariah dog. For the business of egg laying .

 We did not name them just in case our poultry experiment failed then the neighbourhood "Friends Chicken Centre" facilitated final destinaion, Biryani would have to be their eventual fate.

They were 11 weeker chicks, shy,demure little birdies,happy to feed off my palms and live off my kitchen waste. My fledgling kitchen garden started to thrive on their little pellets.  I patted myself on the back. I was going to win the local best organic kitchen award.....well in my dreams
Weeks turned to months and same demure, shy chicks turned to a one rowdy rooster and 4 voracious indiscrimnate chlorophyll chomping hens.They churned out a lot of nitrogenous, nutrient rich chicken shit but I had no surviving plants. Just bare stumps stood till their eye level. Neem and aloe vera were not spared.Chicken proofing with thorny hedges had me nursing my curious, dumb dog's cut lips and paws.My google taught green fingers slowly burnt brown.I still had my trees, I consoled myself.

The rowdy rooster turned out to be a threat by himself.My son addresses him aptly as The Terrorist. He attacks for no reason, without provocation,unannouced,across all species,age and gender and always succeeds in drawing blood.My maid is so scared that she has stopped using the backyard mori for washing. No one dares to walk in the backyard without adequate arms and ammunition.
One day he had me cornered,disarmed and severely traumatised. My squeals of terror had my neighbours worried for a couple of minutes.And now narrated for a lifetime as a cocktail anecdote, in different versions,depending on how nasty one intends to be. His terror reigns supreme.
To elaborate with an example
How does one get curry leaves from Modakam garden which is 10 feet from the kitchen door?
step 1. Refuse to do it. If she doesdnot want it that bad ,she will use a substitute.
step 2.Reluctantly amble towars the door. If the need is urgent, she will skip the step.
step 3.Open the door, scan from right to left, left to right, and again right to left. Terrorist can fly
step 4.Grab a stick, or pointed instrument that can withstand a 300 newton attack. He fluffs himself  3 times bigger during the aerial attack
step 5. Pluck the closest greens from the curry tree location. and run back for your life
step 6. Shut the door tight and refuse to do anything more for the day as level 6 task is already done
The  result-
My tadka is burnt 9/10 times.
I have sauteed with mogra leaves as the creeper was entwined in the curry leaf plant and was picked and cooked in a hurry
The curry leaf plant was cut in half once so that the task doesnot have to be repeated daily

Once Adi flung his slipper at him in self defence. The terrorist pooped on it in spite. He is there every morning at my kitchen door for his "hafta". After collecting his dues he shits in the middle of the doorway to reiterate that he is the One. I quietly clean after him......a silent victim of this domestic pet abuse. Well I wanted him in the first place

BUT the Terrorist sings a different tune with the other ONE
Besides crowing every morning at dawn. He crows when Amol gets back from work. He crows when Amol gets home late at night  after a hospital visit. . He crows when Amol get up for a midnight binge snacking. He attacks him but more of a playful loving peck .He follows Amol with his wives all around the garden. Typical English chicken farm scene in the morning every day
 Sometimes I suspect that Amol has this chip embedded in the rooster just to get back at us . Maybe I can sell this theory as a plot for a sci fi thriller


And finally our Fiesty Fancy. She is the typical dumb chick. She is small, cute and dumb. She is scared of her own footsteps.She runs straight into an open door and collides head on...always. She is always bullied by all and sundry. Even the lizard had her jump out of her skin.Once she jumped into the electrified security barricaded military zone. As much I reasoned with the Faujis I was not allowed access  to look for her. She found her way back home 2 hours late and stress laid an egg.
Somelitimes she just sticks herself flat by the wall that she looks like an airborne tattered black polythene bag
This is her on 300 days a year. Twice a year she develops strong maternal instincts.She grabs all the other girls eggs , gathers under her XS size wings and dares anyone to come next to her. She goes without food or water during this surrogacy driven frenzy.
Once we let her hatch a batch and out came 7 cute little baby chicks. They would climb all over us , have titibits off our dining table , much to Amol's chagrin. One busy day that we had left the chicks in the open and Smokey , my paraiah had a field day hunting all of them . Smokey was so proud of his hunt,smiling ear to ear, laid out his kill neatly like in Master Chef Australia. I cried out loud and so hard that day , that I swore to no more hatching .
Fancy did not hear  or care for my cries. She continues her madness. "A little black hen possessed by maternal insticts lifts a car" maybe a local daily headline. I wouldnot be surprised .
I will elaborate that with an example too
We had work happening in the garden. "Save garden from poultry" A truck full of tiles and barricades was being delivered. Fancy just sqwacked and flew real high. The CCTV did not add any more information.She was gone .Poof ...just like that. Like always we thought she would come back We assumed she had gone in the truck, feared that she made someones meal.After 5 days I had dropped from  intense grade mourning to background mourning ( the kind for all the chronic losses till now) and My Fiesty Fancy crawled from under a pile of stacked kadappa stones with just a feather bruised.
This time she stress poooped on my hands and it is the warmest thing I have experienced as a pet mom.

My girls and the crazy boy feathered pets have their own quirks but the joy of sitting with a bowl of grain and watching them peck around me is unparalleled. Worth all the winning titles in gardening and a garden full of greens and peace.

A fervent plea

Dear Mother Earth,
When I was a child I loved Cadbury Dairy milk chocolates.  So much that I wanted to marry into the family that made the chocolates, hence ensuring a regular and infinite supply of my faves. My little head did not know it was easier to ask for just a  regular and infinite supply and  the means are irrelevant.
Now that I am an adult, my wish is fulfilled (regular and infinite supply bit, not the marrying Cadbury Jr bit). But freak of nature, I have turned into this fitness loving adult. Now Even before the chocolate has melted down my throat, Guilt raises its ugly hydra head from within . I  make mental calculations of the meals I have to skip or the longer I have to run to burn the dreaded silken sinful calories.
Moral of the story- Not all we wish for ,comes true....and even if it does, it is not always good for us.

Dear Ma 
You wished to reset yourself 
So you unleash this virus on us. 
Apparently you are shut down for repairs.
Let me explain why this is not the best for you

so I am 0.00000000013 th of the people who inhabit you. Why would my plea move you?
it is because it is an earnest one.
Agreed we people had no regard for you and we rampantly abused you and your resources. 
It has been 3 weeks in my 0.00000000013 part of the world. We have cleaned our homes...corners that were never visited have been sanitised...ditto the food, clothes, roads. Have learned to work without maids. A Japanese perpendicular bow respect for them. Our families have become "Maid for each other" Sick of snacking, hate all those dumb indoor workouts. Even insta feeds of our Bollywooders is in pajamas and night suits. 
even the meme makers are done with this
Clapped and lit lamps for the cops, sanitary workers... I will come to the health care workers in a bit. 
You are so beautiful . You need to be appreciated and that can be done only outdoors.
Internet has bailed everyone from a child to the stuck indoors grans . Reconnected with high school friends ,checked up on old and forgotten aunts and uncles.Tech challenged oldies now can make video calls and digital payments. You taught an old dog new tricks. We also are no 1 trick ponies. Talent permitting we have tried baking, sewing, learning foreign language.
Got out the bard, singer, dancer etc in us
You have sucked the joy out of binge watching, bunking work, making up dumb excuses to shirk that annoying bit ....Social distancing has made it all legal....how does that even work
humans are social beings....this is the anti thesis of our existence
we have done it all 
now lets us just get back to work
you r a mom 
you can take some bit of pollution, here n there
such pure air does no good to anyone
n it is a long time to heal yourself...after wolfing up so many of our bretheren …overwhelming our health care and pride.....inspite of our best efforts
and a virus is your weapon...seriously … a real low or small should I say
  

 For my bit I have always switched off every fan and light when I left the room. Took public transport even when inconvenient so as to decrease my carbon foot print Carried cloth bags and avoided plastics, compost my waste,always supported local produce.....All so that you don't get chocked that 0.00000000013 bit. I am a right leaning environmentalist....I occasionally indulge in air travel, a tub bath, eat Austrian cold cuts in Goa, retail therapy etc

As a Doctor I can speak for myself. I have trained for 11.5 years to prevent, diagnose and treat ailments. It is my job. I can live without the bouquets or the brickbats. Much like the chocolate soldier of George Bernard Shaw play. I want to carry chocolates.......Cadbury Dairy Milk ones
Spare us
Get rid of this virus.... he is no friend
let us be.... a little carefree....and breathe free

Feb moon filleth my cup over

Fun facts of the February 2020 full moon
According to the Old Farmer's Almanac, February's full moon is called the "Snow Moon" because in midnorthern latitudes, that's when the weather tends to be coldest and snowiest. 

 The Cree called it the Kisipisim, or the Great Moon or The Hunting Moon, describing it as a time when "animals do not move around much, and trappers have little chance of catching them."

  OK ....so this is all available on the net and why should it matter to me
Apparently a lot.... 

I became a proud owner of a girl physiology roadie(yes...feminism insists on reinventing the wheel too) Polygon Divine.The single reason I bought it, in spite of being advised against it by well wishing expert cyclists is the name Divine....Divya means Divine....The cycle was a match made in cycling Valhalla for me
I lovingly named her Moga- my loved one in Konkani
Now the ground reality...the wheels feel very unstable, the drop down position has my neck crying out in pain and what my little tush feels on that narrow seat is a different hell altogether-- 
Some cupids kill with arrows mine kills with the saddle....

I signed up for the Xaxti Full moon ride - The same Feb moon- The Snow Moon-The  Great Moon....you get the drift
Besides the moon being full,  my life also was crazy full this weekend...I had a National Cardiac Anesthesia Conference, A Funfair stall organising child, A recuperating mother in law all happening at the same time....my cup was just filleth over. Amol held it all in for me and also volunteered to partake in the full lunatic ride.....
Saturday evening ....I arrived at the jungle lodge in stilettos and conference look .... Thankfully I transformed to the 'I am crazy cyclist' mode quickly, much to all other cyclists relief...I can imagine their horror ....one look at me and the cycling enthusiasts could see their ride fall apart

The ride started with a quick briefing , on time (even joy rides are so professionally conducted),  warnings about the wild animals, speeding motor vehicle bound homo sapiens, ways of the jungle were all noted....A support vehicle...supporting veteran cyclist looking out for newbies like us....had us cycle over a 60 km into the thick of the Netravali forests, in the thick of the night with only the moon shining over us......

 Amol and me cycled stretches by ourselves under the starlit skies, 
" A family that cycles together always stays together"( for all the reluctant spouses, a reason to pedal away)
 We finished the ride strong inspite of the biting cold winds of the Western Ghats and were treated to a sumptuous dinner , a warm hearth and hospitality of Johnny , our cycling Host.  
Sameer and his team (I know them by their cycles and jerseys but not by name)  have a definite berth in the cycling Valhalla. To look out for weaklings and to care for others more than self restores faith in humanity
If cycling is the food of the soul, pedal on......

Just while the moon had me mooning over, I had a presentation at the Cardiac Conference in the the next 8 hours.....As usual Amol rose to the occasion, had me in the next few hours in the Saving Lives Doctor mode on....Overwhelmingly I won a prize at the National level for my Poster.....The joy indescribable ...my moment of glory.....my moment under the sun.....

I was not really done gushing over my sweet victory , my son had a stall at the evening Funfair and the mother in me took over for the next 8 hours...
Aditya's string the ring, but don't ring it was a major hit among kids and adults alike.....
He envisioned it, paid for the expenses with his pocket money, got it executed by his handy man, had me market his product at the stall......First few lessons in entrepreneurship were well executed.... He even won a Best Stall prize for it. I was so proud of him.
When a parent gives to the son,both laugh
When a son gives back to a parent, both cry....tears of joy


All these major wins happened from one moon rise to the other....The full moon indeed filleth my cup over.
 
PS- Also this is my leap year full moon....my birthday year..... my wish fulfilling moon....my Feb moon