Lucknow-Lalla Land

I am an ethnic Tamilian and a naturalised Goan. So D cell homeostasis(I am a compulsive name giver so the cosmic dust that makes my cells are called D- cells) is meant for hot climes and high humidity. And Lo and behold in 3 hours D cells were exposed to cold shock from 31-13 degree celsius.3 layers were not enough to keep the draft away. We were welcomed to Lucknow by our non conformist driver Yadavji. He had a flambouyant intro at the airport. "Aap humaare kshetra mein hain Hum sab sambhaal lenge" He was constantly on the mobile , even making upi transactions while driving. or waxing eloquent about his polical beliefs. Rules are followed by all(in their mind) because all made their own rules. Seat belts didn't buckle up in our car. Yadavji tried to convince me that it is unnecessary and when I did not budge he lectured about the difficulties encountered in getting out the buckle. Never one to back off I still insisted. He stopped the car in the middle of a busy road, got off the wrong side and pulled out the buckle which I had to hold on to for dear life for that ride and the buckle promptly buckled into the upholstery for the next ride. I did not know what was more dangerous. I finally caved and rode the next 3 days by Yadavji's rules, Lucknow's tagline is "Muskuraiye Aap Lucknow Mein Hain" And they take it very seriously. Even taunts are "Tehzeeb se". The Hindi spoken here feels like verses recited from our NCERT textbooks.

The place is populous. Every 7th human is an Indian and every 7th Indian is fron UP. Old Lucknow Bada Imambara with the Bhool bhulaiya and Rumi Darwaza, Chota Imambara with colourful chandeliers and interesting artworks (Quran verses drawn like a messenger dove ) clock tower(our own Big Ben- the tallest in India) , picture gallery(Reneissance style potraits with 3- D optical illusion explained with fun facts thrown in by mava chewing guides) is an absolute must see. It is worth braving crowds, dusty roads, mava chewing toothless guides, trouts who are eager to show chikan factories.

The British Residency bears scars of the 1857 revolt and is a history buffs multiplex. The ASI keeps the place clean, well maintained and the light and sound show recaps Lucknow"s history in 20 minutes.

Aminabad market exists on the internet but no taxi driver or auto rishaw will take a tourist to it. Google can't be trusted(interjection from the son; Google maps can in fact be trusted). A seasoned shopper like me walked in circles till my legs in boots hurt. Shopping here is so worth it, even the sore blister on my foot. All who shopped at the first shop that the taxi driver dropped you off at, haven't expericed the real deal. Lucknow is a foodie paradise. At least that is what I was sold. Galouti kebab - meat minced so fine so that the toothless Nawab could relish his kebab. The story sounds good but the kebab has the consistency of toothpaste. Imagine a meaty Colgate. Malai Makkhan was yum, Rabdi Jelebi did not dissappoint and I think we should leave biryani to the Hyderabadis.

The Lucknow trip was for the Nephrology conference. And the raison d'etre of the conference was Dr Narayan Prasad."Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them” Well Professor is "Narayan's Prasad" himself. He is the embodiment of " similia similibus curentur". To illustrate-Sir had come to Goa in the wake of the Ahmedabad Airbus A320 tragedy. The entire aviation industry was poring over back box evidence without a clue. Over dinner he just chimed in that it must have been cut off of fuel supply to the engine that caused the crash. Now he is a brilliant clinician, academician and teacher. Most of us have trained for over a dozen years and with a dozen years of practice most of us may get there. His sense of humour and humility is The Lord Narayan's Prasad" but then, we are lesser mortals. So I thought what would a Doctor know about planes and brushed it off as small talk. A month later many experts and commitees came up with the exact same reason. I was reminded of the famous Richard Feynmans Challenger report. Goosebumps.Sir, SGPGI and the entire Nephrology clan balanced academics with kinship and fraternity/sorority over 3 days . I was happy to shine in the reflected glory of being Mrs Nephrology whose deal got sweeter with shopping. Nephrology conferences are landmark events in our lives. We started attending them as a young family with a toddler in tow, to now where baby Nephrology has grown to be taller than Dad, soon to be an Engineer. I have got life advice, parenting advice, how to "pull out spouse during a lecture" advice from senior Mrs Nephrologists. We have made fast friends with fellow N families over these annual 3 days of banquets and trade stalls over food and souverniers. It is also Time to meet teachers and be grateful for having been under their tutelage

Dr Prakash has cycled from Kashmir to Kanyakumari in 12 days and what's more amazing is that his wife and young son were his crew. Ultracyclist doing ultrafiltration supported by his Ultrasome duo. Catch a glimpse of him and get the endorphin shot of knowing a ultracyclist in flesh and blood and ultrafiltrate. Amol spent 2 cold months 16 years ago as a Fellow in SGPGI but has made the thickest friends who wrap you up in that warm hug a blanket can't match. Every 7th Nephrologist is from Lucknow, or is trained or certified by a Lucknow Nephrolgist.We meet only at conferences but our loops of Frienship go way deeper A trip around the campus by Dr Supriya added the khushi to the Lucknow Muskhaan. Funny story; Dr S was my real life inspiration to become a Doctor. She was the girl from the neighbourhood who got into Med school and the teen in me was impressed. I shadowed her .

She is fierce and driven, brilliant and skilled and I believed if I aim for the the stars I will reach the rooftop. So grateful to get to the rooftop because Dr S showed me the path and on this trip showed me some Nilghai, Geese, ducks and photos of Langur on campus walls.Problem - Monkey nuisance. Solution- Langurs Catch- Monkeys learned to hoodwink Langurs and the cost of Langur patrol . Apparently 2 Langurs were on govt payroll till someone came up with a cheaper alternative of sticking life size pics of the langurs. We wandered into the department of medical genetics to find a dear friend Dr Anju cited as proud alumnus. Some more reflected glory-farming.

The grand finale was the trip to Ayodhya. While being bundled into the bus to get there in good time we were saying our last byes and till we meet again-s to the organisers. Brushing off the humungous effort into this magnum opus production the organisers just brushed it off. Wanted to roll like the squirrel to collect the golden dust off the greats in the real Ram lalla land.

Estd as Lakshmanpuri to becoming the Awadh capital to Yogi land ,From Tehzeeb Hindi to Gangs of wasseypur Hindi Lucknow is a potpourri to be savoured and relished and we experienced it all...Bye Bye Lucknow . Till we meet again.

Shravan Express

As much joy there is in parenting your offspring there lies greater joy and good fortune in parenting parents. Vittobha was asked to wait on a brick patiently (hence the name The "Vit" (brick in Marathi) and "thal" (standing), signifying the Lord who stands on a brick )by Pundalik because he was caring for his parents, even though he knew that God is waiting at his doorstep in rising flood waters to Shravan carrying his infirm parents on a pilgrimage( didnt end well for the poor chap but the event was the start of unfolding of great things that shaped Bharat vansh).Our culture prescribes pilgrimage and taking parents for one scores more brownie points. Also I have always lived vicariously... buying toys that Adi never wanted, my career as an anesthesiologist,enjoying the spoils of being Mrs Nephrology and now finally this pilgrimage which I wanted very badly and Amols parents are too sweet to refuse. Amol planned 4 Jyothirlings over a week. We landed in Kolkatta and utilised the 4 hours to catch a sound and light show about Subhash Chandra Bose in the Victoria Memorial-the best I have seen so far across the world in terms of quality and content. Also the sight of the lighted VM at night and its reflection in the water body on the east gare is lit.

Chelo kebabs at Peter Cat and dessert at Flurys. We would have got an A for Kolkatta well done. Driving over the Howdah bridge took me back to my childhood days of travelling with my parents.Being able to go back to a happy memory which can never again happen in your life no matter how big and smart one has become is eerie and nice at the same time. Howdah junction has car parking parallel to railway platforms. Off load from the dickie to your train berth and one has given a slip to Lapierres City of Joy. But our joy was robbed by the IRCTC app which flashed the wrong platform. So we had to haggle with the porter, Mummys knocked up knees were no match to run behind his sinewy speedy legs, hapless Amol (who kicks up- hates authority but kisses down-saps up sob stories) was relieved of an amount more than negotiated for work less than promised by the coolie.On a normal day we would have argued in safe precincts and immediately gotten to the next thing that can be a potential skirmish. But in the company of my inlaws we let it simmer.Now my in laws are very kind. But to witness their son being drawn into a verbal slug fest which he always loses must weigh down on them. I have asked Mummy so often how much does it bother her to see her sons get hassled by their respective wives and kids I just get a silent wistful smile as an answer. We reached Jasidih at 5am and the sun had already risen over the Mayurakshi river. I was now incharge of all the local ops after Howdah hustle. The railway retiring room guy helpfully warned us about the crowds for the Purnima tithi and that VIP darshan also took 6 hours the previous otherwise normal day and to be wary of touts/Pandas. Baba Baidhyanath aka the King of Physiciacns is the Shivlinga granted as a boon in lieu for the severe penance that Ravana did. The rider was that it cant be placed down anywhere enroute. Ravan tricked by his urinary bladder and Vishnu placed it here and the Shivling stayed put here forever and ever.Baba Baidhyanath Dham is where Satis heart fell. So it is a combined Shakti Peeth and Jyotirling. The cardiac anesthesilogist in me was stoked.

We reached the VIP darshan gate @ 7Am. An overhelpful guy directed us to a Panda who was giving out plain plastic cards as tokens for VIP darshan. The ticket counter official mumbled nothing useful. All the scam alert buttons in me got activated all at once. I was glowing red and picked up pace to join a Dharma Darshan queue 2kms away. Barefoot. If there were any protests I didnot hear them. A policeman said it will take 2 hours for this line to get to the sanctum sanctorium.Not just Ravan got tricked here. There was a holding area where we spent close to 3 hours. Amol embarked on his' I told you so' rant and my inlaws trusted me too much to complain but were visibly in discomfort. Strike 1 for Amol. I still held my ground which was pretty much what everyone was doing as the line was not moving. With frenetic slogans from kavadis of Bum Bol we started moving through a dirty corridor starting from station number 30. Even Jesus Christ had to only endure 14. Assuming we had to get to station 1 my resolve started to wear down. I apologised and each sorry made evil Amol stronger. Amol vs Divya 2/0. We got ushered into a caged steel lined humid hall. The floors were wet so standing was yucky. A lady ahead of us was getting sick every 10 mts so we walked through vomitus for a bit and full fetid body odour. The scenes were straight out of The boy in the striped pajamas where they are lined up to get gassed. Mummy started to feel faint. This ordeal lasted 2hours. Amol vs Di 4/0. The line merged with the VIP darshan guys with the blank cards( which was indeed official by Jharkand standards) They were in this ordeal for only an hour and their queue had courtesy and deodorant and ventilation. Amol vs Di 8/0 .Garba griha was the final straw. We got pushed in, thrown at the Shivling, grabbed by the arm for alms by the Pandas and pushed out in a total of 60 seconds. Amol vs D 10/0.I was scared and defeated. We visited the Parvati temple which is the Shakti peeth in the premises. While I was waiting behind 2 ladies who were doing some ritualistic things on the idol I felt a flick on my back. And I flipped. I started to scream and howl at the policeman who dared do it to me. I stirred up a commotion demanding an apology. A lady police came to yank me out and a senior policeman to pacify me and the Pandas to appease me. All those 8 hours of frustration laced with guilt came to fore and in that sanctum sanctorium I was fierce. I got an apology from that policeman and I walked out victorius feeling like Mahisaruramardini- the murderous raging form of Durga.Shirodhi Krithamala- one who makes a garlang of the severed heads

We got back to the room and a hot water bath and a loud wail cured the day. I saw the blood moon eclipsed that night and wondered if it was the eclipse that eclipsed my common sense for the day and I was not to be held responsible for my actions. The moon has made many a lunatic....

We boarded the train to Kashi and this time I promised to behave.Kashi darshan was prebooked online and the electoral manifesto of cleaning up the Ganga really showed. HHM Ahilyabai has restored the Kashi temple vandalised by Aurangazeb. I wonder what farmer tilling the Holkar land thought about the tax money being donated to temple building and other acts of generosity by the HHM because I have mixed feelings about 23000 crores on rejuvenating a river.

The temple visit was quick and easy even though the Pandas were replaced by Shastris. Since Amol was incharge big denominations were exchanged and I was too feeble from the previous days fight. Kashi is where Shiva appeared as an infinite column of light to end the bickering Brahma and Vishnu. Vishnu ate the humble pie while Bhrahma lied and got his 5th head cut off by fierce form of Shiva aka Kaal Bhairav or svanah - the dog rider, as punishment. Kashi is supposed to rest on Shivas Trident and the spiritual capital of Hinduism. My take is that Banarasis have capitalised the Spiritualism so much here that there is no spiritualism left. There are 1008 ancient temples in the precinct and apparently 27000 in the city. The Nepali Pashupatinath temple in the premises was quaint and peaceful. The wood work is intricate and detailed. The Kasi Vishwanath Dham and corridor leading to the Ghats is nice.

Sarnath-where Buddha gave his first sermon was nice too...To see the 4 headed lion and the Ashoka chakra in flesh and stone in the museum gave me goosebumps. Touts to explain Buddhism and Banarasi silk weaving showrooms get annoying after some time. If we had to hear the names of Buddhas 5 disciples once more I would have screamed. Benarasi silk weaver said taana - vertical wrap comes from Bangalore , baana - horizontal weft comes frome Bombay and the paan in his mouth is the only thing from Banarus- he said in a lilting lyrical way and before my laugh subsided he was milking bakshish from Amol. It is discomforting to say the least. Thailand sponsored Arunachal craftsman sculpted 89 feet Buddha was struck by recent lightening and his curls were damaged a bit. It was undergoing surgical reconstruction.The Dhanek Stupa with the Buddhist relics and the excavation site is a good place to spend the entire day if the weather was not such a bummer.

Benarasi paan, hing kachori were excllent. Jalebi and Ganga ghat Aarti was just a hype.I have had better jalebis in Vasco Saptah and seen better Ganga aarti in Haridwar n Rishikesh.We got overpriced tickets to veiw some phony Aarti being performed on a terrace (due to rising water level in the Ganga) from another terrace which didnit even have a direct view.Ramlila in Ramnagar was crowded.All 4 of us just felt a lot let down but didnot want to be the one to whine. I am a proud Indian. Middle class upbringing, lived in Govt hostels ,always strike a good bargain while shopping, street shopping and food are my jam.travelled sleeper class, unreserved even ... . but it didnot prepare me for the Hindi heartland.They are very different people with very different circumstances. Kashi express (originating from platform 10 in a railway station with only 9 numbered platforms- even the trains were mystical in Benarus) Some trouble. More anguish from the porter bhaiya and some more from entitled fellow passengers, we were Ujjain bound.

Ujjain, the erstwhile Avantikapuri was a breather. We got a kind taxi driver, cleaner surroundings and honest priests. We did a whirlwind half a day tour of Ujjain. The Kaliyadeh palace by the Shipra river is picturesque. The Kaal Bhairav temple famous for alcohol Bhog (Banned from April2025) has a granite life like black dog as the sentry is fragrant with the scent of red roses. The Sandipani ashram where Krishna Balram and Sudama studied is a must visit site. The 64 life skills( surprised to know that it included bed making, embroidery, rangoli making, flower arrangement , grooming besides singing , dancing, playing dice) that boys learnt from the Guru and Gita Updesh are represented as wall murals in a dung, mud and sandalwood mixture plastered roof shelter to beat the heat. The place was fragrant and very cool. The next stop was the Bhartrihari caves . The history of this place is laced with more infidelity than modern soap operas and crazy plot twists. Fed up of this the king gave up his kingdom and became an ascetic here. There is a tunnel which supposedly leads to CharDham. Few minutes in the tunnel makes one hypoxic, I wonder if anyone has dared to verify the CharDham tunnel veracity.

Ujjain Jyothirling is the only south facing of the 12. Brahma granted Tarakasur"s sons the boon of 3 indestructable flying cities Tripura. Power corrupts all and demons some more. Shiva with Brahma as charioteer, sun and moon as chariot wheels, Meru as bow, Vasuki as bow string and Vishnu, Agni and Yam as arrow heads shot down Tripura in a cosmic battle from Ujjain. Hence its significance as Shivas power centre. Also Sati"s lip fell here , making it a Shakthi peeth. The Mahakal darshan energising, walk down the Mahakal Lok corridor with the big statues informative and the 6D virtual Bhasma Arti darshan extraordinary.

Omkareshwar is an Om shaped island by the banks of River Narmada is set in the most picturesque of surroundings. This is the resting place of the Lord Shiva hence Shayan Aarti in the evening is popular here. The 7 km parikrama by foot was the highlight of this spiritual trip. 10 century temples, fort ruins, Gods of all sizes and hues along the path, Gita verses every 10 feet(The Devnagri script was painful to read but we used it as a welcome break to rest our tired legs while I made Amol read it for me sloooowly),Narmada Kaveri Sangam, and the people one meets along the way is an experience not to be missed . We met a aluminium vessels foot vendor carrying the weight of his wares on his head and selling along the parikrama path. He lives 20kms away, gets here by a ST bus, walks a minimum of 15km everyday to make a living.He reminded me of the Bangle sellers poem by Sarojini Naidu..."Bangle sellers are we who bear,Our shining loads to the temple fair..."

Holkar Rajwada - a visual and architectural treat for history buffs. HH Ahilya Bai Holkar-Handpicked by HH Malhar Holkar for her piety to be his daughter in law and the princess. Widowed at a young age,dissuaded by her father in law from commiting Sati, commanding armies, encouraging small scale indistries( Maheshwari weaves are her gift), easing pilgrimages by construction of Dhams and Ghats across the sub continent... finest female ruler of her times.Shastanga Namaskaar.As we wrapped up we had to witness the most royal act yet. Our taxi driver Yadav Bhaiyya in Indore. He was reliable and extremely patient. I gave him a box of sweets for his family which he graciously accepted. But When Amol tipped him at the end of our trip he magnanimously refused. To rephrase Ratatouille 'Anyone can be a professional but true Professionalism can come from anywhere'

To wrap up this travelogue- Kolkatta is Macher Jhol-spicy and rich but fishy never the less. Jharkhand is just wild and one needs to be a braveheart to embrace it.Banaras is like Jalebi- sweet but sticky and twisted with vile and guile. Madhya Pradesh is the Indori Poha- humble, healthy and the shev topping is its oomph...