Another semester draws to an end

While I had serious trouble unhooking the umbilical ties in the first sem, I braved to cut it completely in the 2 sem," one fell swoop". Whoosh. Clean cut. It bled a bit, hurt lots but now I am a healed person. Person. No longer always worried but always right Amma. What led to this small step resulting in a giant leap for my mental peace are the following series of events While we parted at Chandigarh airport, Adi to IITB to start 2sem and us to Goa to continue long distance parenting for yet another sem, our flight was called first. Amol and me dragged our feet to the tarmac while turning back till you can see him no more. And Adi put back his head phones on his ears and turned his attention to the phone even before I had peeled away from the "last hug before we leave" And I am the SRK "dekha na piche mud ke" kinda girl.I was so heart broken.❤️‍🩹😭💔 I must have called Adi a minimum of 1000 times in the 1 sem but not once there was a call from him. When I brought this up with him,(secretly hoping for some praise about my flawless long distance parenting that left my kiddo not wanting for anything) the answer from him was that I never gave him a chance to miss him. A wise mother of 3, adviced me to give him a chance to miss me aka "Dont call him" . What transpired was 240 agonising hours and still no call from him. Not the one to give in, I texted him to call me( technically it still counts as not calling) . I launched a full blown emotional monologue at the unsuspecting boy. 😤For A boy who has survived JEE preps, who can face 200 minutes of grilling by 13 members interview board for a convenor post of a non academic club, this was chicken shit. 🐔🐔I could flap my mad mama hen wings all I wanted, my son's Buddha predisposition just got steelier.🧘‍♂️📿 Amol intervened and extracted once a week phone call from him and I retreated sore and hurt. I was so hurt that I wanted to write a guidebook(blog for now) for mothers like me. As part of research, I spoke to many mothers who like me had boys and had sent them away to study/work. Following are the insights that I gained in these interviews. - 💡No boy calls back home voluntarily just to say he is OK - No boy calls back as long as he is comfortable. Hostel friends,food,monthly money allowances,unlimited data provided in campus keeps them happily ensconsed. - If there is a call, they need something-it could be money,pep talk when they have hit a low(Hey,Parents are still their biggest cheerleaders and are insanely proud of their offspring) - They also call to give some good news about their achievements(Everyday phenomenal is only for Maniacs so these calls are as rare as a meteor shower and equally spectacularly etched in moms memory) - If the parents make a visit to check on the ward they are always busy and if lucky, can clear 15 minutes from their schedule(Interwing Hostel cricket match was 1 ward's excuse for not meeting parents who had travelled 20 hours) -We always had early morning flights to Mumbai and my son's excuse for not being excited to meet us was,"it is too early in the day to be fully awake", not accounting for the fact that grandma fried fish was reheated by Amol at 3am in the morning to reach crisp at 7:45am , 2 taxi rides and a flight away and in time before the 8:00am lecture. I texted him a day in advance for the next visit to fake excitement. Afterall I was from the,"pal bhar ke liye koi hame pyaar karle; Jootha hi sahi" school of parenting. - They are capable of walking to the ends of earth to do stuff that matters to them but a simple task that the parent has asked them to do will not be done(Mine can spin sonnets but will not send a text acknowledging receipt of Modakam Mankurad mangoes hand delivered across 600kms, passed across 6 hands and God knows how many favours Amol had to ask to get this done. When I waited fuming for a couple of days at this ingratitude, only the summer temperatures in Goa soared. English writing section, one had to thank uncle for the gift he had sent, in 50 words for informal letter writing.When I brought this up, he said that this part was axed from his English syllabus. Lame. - Giving them their space and not asking too many prying questions(I can fire 100 questions a minute) makes phone calls super pleasant. - A call or a text from Adi has me upbeat with a song on my lips, and a spring in my step. He always makes my day.C'est la vie. Weird but true. Finally the Bodhi moment was when I heard this 🌳 - A parent needs to cut off the ties for the boy to become the Man he is meant to be.Now this was a new perspective from an experienced long distance parent.She added that once they become the adult they have set out to be, they reconnect. Before I burst with excitement the fine print read, not to expect this for a decade at least. So as I take the curtain call to this Act of parenting, I would like to thank all the moms who have listened to my ranting, had my back and thrown in some hugs. Also a shout out to our tribe that mothers, sometimes smothers and mostly just endures.

Dharamshala-Call of the Hills

One more of my fictitious birthdays that Amol is made to plan and execute to perfect celebrations was this trip to Amritsar and Dharamshala. It helped as the "Border-Gavaskar trophy" was to be played at the highest cricket grounds in the world at Dharamshala. Apparently there is many a slip between Mahaldar holiday plans and BCCI ground realties. The match moved to Indore over poor ground conditions but opened up five divine days of holidays for the Mahaldars

My birthday dinner was the Langar at the Golden temple. A bit of flashback here. Circa 2011,while I battled with my DM residency, long distance parenting, spurned spouse, externship in AIIMS roles, an Aamir Khan tear jerker movie called Taare Zameen Par hit me hard. I was convinced my preschool baby was definitely dyslexic. I wanted Amol to have him evaluated. Now I can count on my fingers of 1 hand , the things Amol has refused me till now and this was one of them. In this background Amol n me visited the Golden temple and in my mind I thought that if all turns out well with Adi and he reaches academic excellence, we will all make a trip back here. I did not voice this out to anyone lest it got jinxed. A good 12 years later, Adi in IIT, Amol unaware of my golden vow planned this trip. Universe always conspires to have our deepest desires fulfilled

The airBnB overlooking the temple helped us catch the Amrit Vela kirtan at the Golden temple . Crowds at wee hours in the morning, dawn at the temple to the chants of " Ik Onkar Satnam" (AR Rehman immortalised it in Rang de Basanti for the non Sikh folks) and "Karah Prasad" rich in ghee made the experience surreal.

A quick visit to Jalianwala Bhag in the morning, Amritsari lassi and Kulcha chole, shopping also factored in completed our Amritsari leg of our holiday.We thought the rest of the trip would be gastronomically this satisfying but I was mistaken on 2 counts. I came down with a stomach bug which later caught up with Adi too and we had more cyclopams than momos on the trip.And the blessed Amritsari kulche's taste apparently stays within the 10 km radius of the city. We tried Kulche at dhaba, fancy restaurant, roadside cafe, inhouse airBnB kitchen but were left wanting. I could do this 3000km trip again just to have the roadside butter doused kulcha chole at the railway station road. A road trip to Dharamsala in a car with only 2 seatbelts for 4 passengers had me anxious throughout. Our driver Mr Sonuji, as unique as the Amritsari kulche tried to assuage my fears but of no avail. But it was more than compensated with the yellow mustard blooms providing the back drop for DDLJ poses.

Amol quipped that if non availabilty of the seat belts was the only thing to complain about the entire trip, then we have indeed had a wondeful one.

Our airBnB in Dharamasala, Guleria villa was a sprawling mansion with an inhouse waterfall, swimming pool( after my Nashik hypothermia induced near death experience I vowed off non temperature controlled pools), view of the snow peaks from every nook, window, manned by nice caretakers. Adi set up his "just out of packaging" Apple Macbook Pro in the balcony overlooking the Dhauladar ranges "because he could",but what transpired was he obviously forgot to get it back in while we went out for dinner, and it had to obviously rain, and obviously with Adi's Buddha like calmness he casually slipped it in mid conversation and it obviously evoked an inversely proportional opposite reaction from us,our caretaker had to breakin to rescue "precious" and calm our frayed nerves over the frantic phone call that "sirf boonda boondi tha"

Day 1 - cycling around the Dhauladhar ranges with a part time techie, full time guide was the perfect way to break into this lovely landscape. MTB, steep upslopes covered in the lowest gears, heart rate at the highest , more vultures on 1 tree than I had seen in my entire life time,pinecone fir trees, village roads, Kendriya vidyalya kids singing the prayer song so out of tune, lots of photos, home made poha were the highlights of our cycling trip

Gyoto monastery, full of boy monks, scriptures and mobiles competing for the monks attention, big Bhuddha. Spicy Thupka made worse by adding more chilly sauce at the behest of a friendly Tibetan in the cafe did no good to my inflamed bowels.

Norbulingka institute showcasing some of the finest artwork of the Tibetan culture, another big Bhuddha - A medicine Bhuddha holding a bowl of herbs , life size paintings of Buddhist teachings and beliefs, a cafe that thankfully served soothing food like pastries and pies. I also bought silver prayer wheel earrings and felt one with the surroundings. Shopping meets Spirituality. My misplaced phyto enthusiam landed me into voluntarily picking out stinging nettles aka "bichua patti" . It burns like the sting of a scorpion and the more I yelped , the other doctor , Dr Amol gave me "gyan" rather than an antidote. After some time the poison and me numbed out.

Google your trip on the go had us undertake a long windy drive to Masror rockcut temple built in Nagara style architechture dedicated to Shiva n family, Vishnu and family . It is picturesque to say the least and the fact that it has withstood the ravages of nature and tourism speaks a lot about this place.

Another long drive later (distances are short but the hilly roads take an awful long time) we reached Kangra fort to have the gates shut on our faces. Tired boys and still enthu for photos me, makes a lethal combo . I quietly snuck in and the boys had no excuse but to follow. What followed was non cooperation movement launched jointly by the boys for photos. Precious golden hour minutes were wasted in arguments. The fort had endured many battles. Originally built by the Katoch Rajputs ,it changed multiple hands, namely the Mughals, Sikhs,Gurkhas and like all things Indian ,finally landed with the British. Now the mute walls witnesses wedding shoots, music shoots and the Mahaldar skirmish too.Lots of photos later (They finally relented and Amol uses a pic clcked here as his dp still) and having thoroughly exhaused the boys we called it a day

Day 2- Trek to Triund. 10 years ago Amol n me scaled the Himalyas from Manali. I always wanted to experience this with my son. The stomach bug got the better of Adi. Amol enthusiasm to trek and the love for his wife quickly ebbed by the time we reached Bhagsu Nag. Amol parked himself at the base camp citing spiritual pursuits from the Bhuddhist chants that echoed from Mcleodgunj below. Adi climbed up inspite of the stomach bug but was quick to shoot down my future trek plans (I had done 1 with spouse, 1 with son and I wished to do 1 with my grandchildren) Rhododendrons that look like roses on trees, the sweet air of the mountains,cute mountain goats, some rowdy ones too, mules that carry gas cylinders and other burden causing a traffic jam on the hills, dogs that follow trekkers to the summit in the hope of some tidbits and do it effortlessly over and over again, colourful houses of Mcleodgunj on one side and the snow peaked Dhauladhar ranges on the other makes the 10 km trek worthwhile.

It is also a lot more fun to tell fellow trekkers that they have a long way to go while we have almost descended. The thing about treks is that we suffer while climbing but reminisce them fondly once we get back home. The sweat of efforts is quickly dried by the sweet mointain air. The moments of exhaustion are flossed over by the beautiful pictures (which I like to review over n over again) We celebtrated our scaling the summit with a Cadbury silk like brand ambassadors of Modelez Intl

Amol got stung here by the same nettle sister leaves and this time I felt happy at this revenge of the sisterhood . After reuniting with Amol and garam Dal chawal, we saw the Namgyal monastery, the residence of THe Dalai LAma. The monasteries are full of boy monks that it is hard to believe there are any lady Tibetans. It is sad to see a generation of refugees who will never know their motherland. Amol always says it is better to die in ones own motherland than live a refugee. I thought it was too radical till now.

Day 3- The boys wanted a non activity day and I coulnot have agreed more.

We walked to a Shiva temple by the river and visited the war memorial and tea gardens in the evening. The roads were lined by wild peach trees in full white blossom that they look like they have caught all the falling stars in their branches.

We happenstanced into a Aghanjar Mahadev Temple . Lord Shiva is supposed to have blessed Arjun with the Gandhiva and wished him luck in the war.An eternal fire burning over a hundred years and a Gupt Shivaling under a huge boulder where we had to crawl in to enter but once in we could sit and pray.,We also braved one last round of momos with the last remaining tablet of cyclopam and with that we bid goodbye to Dharamshala, holidays, Adi and Amritsar in that order and boarded our respective flights out of Amritsar.

Nashik Nephrology Nutrition by Mrs. Nephrology

 Nashik is a holy city surrounded by 9 hills(nav shikar).

River Godavari originates here and blessed is this city with no traffic jam. Vehicles flow as smooth as the waters of Mama Godavari 

Lord Ram laid his fathers King Dashrath ashes here in Ram kund. That gives us reason to pollute the Godavari ghat with holy refuse of flowers, lamp wicks, mud lamps ( a man was drowning his loved one’s plastic spectacle case

 Panchavati along Godavari is dotted with temples that devotees are spoiled for choice. And insta lovers for gram worthy pictures. Amol did flex his photography muscles and the clear winter blue skies lent the photos a quality that dirty reality could not betray 

Naroshankar and Kapaleshwar were some that we visited 

Divine Spouses and children were also covered

Pagdi Ganba 

 

Karthik Swamy temple by the Nattukottai Chettiyars- we happenstanced to visit this temple drawn mainly by the Tamil inscriptions and we lucked out with Lovely Prasadam in the form of masala rice , sundal and panchamrudham

Hanuman in various sizes stood guard along the ghat

KalaRam- Black stone idols of Ramayana trio and their faithful Hanuman in a magnificent black edifice. The loud crowds outside and the peaceful and serene inside is stark and striking.This black temple sucks all the negativity and we left the place reenergised 

Kala Ram’s Kala Hanuman 

GoraRam- A teakwood marvel that houses the holy quartet in white marble and hence the name

Sita Gupha - crazy queues for an underground tunnel that sheltered Sita from danger while her men went hunting and gathering. she got abducted by Ravan here and Amol refused to let me go shopping alone citing this 7000 years ago saga of wife disregarding husband’s plea. Well I gave in and dragged my feet back to Hotel Express Inn. 

Hotel Express Inn is this big hotel with a skywalk and a spirited capsule lift that never reaches the destination floor.

It also has an open air swimming pool with icy waters. When asked the pool attendant why was the pool not temperature controlled, his pan faced answer was to write it in the suggestion book. Also when asked who can swim in this ice bucket challenge like waters , his answer was simple. People who know to swim. 

This was enough to egg me on while Amol stretched on the pool deck quoting there is no shame in quitting. I swam if only to prove a point to Mr panfaced potbellied pool attendant because the minute he was adequately impressed with my “swimming” I hoisted myself out of the pool on my hands gracefully with a jump. He was still watching. 

What followed after being underwater in single digit degrees Celsius temperatures and next 30 minutes was cyanosis, hypothermia, shivering and a real threat of rhabdomyolysi and hyperkalemic cardiac arrest, Amol’s repeated “I told you so” 

Sarafa

To recover from this near death experience I did Sarafa- Old jewellery bazaar of Nashik where I indulged in retail therapy and Amol indulged me and Tibetan market- A Kannada speaking salesman sold me a Chinese puffer jacket in a Tibetan stall. And the Alibaba Chinese food stall served noodles in large portions to resemble the nav shikhars of Nashik. 2 adults and 7 hungry yet sceptical street dogs just about managed to finish 1 special Alibaba noodles.

Pandavleni caves- Early morning walk up 205 stairs amply rewarded by the cool mountain air and picturesque views of the city. The caves are a treasure and well maintained .

Jain mandir- sandstone wonder

The Jain Mandir - A 5 km walk on the expressway and a sandstone chiseled beauty, ornate, detailed Shwetambar Jain Mandir treat awaits us. They are very prickly about photography so this serene place can only be experienced 

Scene 2- Nephrology act 1

Disclaimer- I am a Cardiac Anesthesiologist with special interest in Nephrology and in a Nephrologist 

A senior Nephrologist Dr Bharat Shah said meetings are more of family gatherings in the garb of academics. And Nephrology tribe are academic domestics. They mix both well , care for both with equal elan and families of nephrologist are always well turned out. Post Covid there was a lot of catching up to do- nephrology and otherwise. 

SRNMCON 2023 was hosted by Dr Chafekar, propelled by the SGPGI show of strength for late Dr Anita Saxena, and the academic brilliance of all the Nephrology biggies. Dr Chafekar had an event of this scale organised to the T just like him, always well turned out in his crisp suits. Ably complemented by lovely Madam Chafekar whose hospitality was larger than her farm house where she hosted 50 delegates impromptu and impeccably. Nashik’s chill, Maharashtra cultural dances, toasty bon fires, delegates dance performances will be fondly remembered in Nephro nutrition circles 

Trimbakeshwar visit- 

One of the 12 jyotirlings and a must visit. It was supposed to be enabled by the local organisers but miscommunication and unpreparedness for the crazy crowds that our populous country can churn up on Sankranti day had 14 delegates stranded in various degrees of “anger to helplessness” spectrum. With the setting sun our hopes dimmed Dr Shrimati pulled a miracle that night and all of us had Darshan of the Mahadev. A mumma nephrology, a senior citizen touched Dr Shrimati’s feet for her feat. It was magical, divine, humbling all at once- Just like Nashik 

Trimbakeshwar by the day

The night of a miracle